Okay, second post tonight.
Remember my first blog post, "Oh Look I Made a Blog"?
That's not entirely true. I didn't really just make this blog for sh*ts and giggles.
I originally made this blog to rant, as I am sure is evident in the first couple of posts. I didn't start this at a very high point in my life
But then when I saw that I had 100 pageviews not including my own, I thought 'Hey. Maybe someone actually enjoys this.'
So since then I've been putting more emphasis on the funny parts of my stories, because I realized that nothing that ever happens to me ever makes sense and that my big redneck family is funny- so is the grandmum I wrote about, but she's on the other side of the family.
Then I tried to create a schedule which in retrospect was creating my own downfall. What was I thinking, finding an actual use for my phone other than texting and not using the minutes we pay so much for? Of course my phone would be drowned days later!
You should know, I am a well of random information.
SO DID YOU KNOW: A recent study done by psychiatrists on teens shows that blogging is one of the most efficient ways of relieving stress!
w00t for the internets!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Doctor and The Face of BOE (Board Of Ed, that is)
This is gonna be a short post because it's late, but it needed to be said. I will go into to detail soon, probably tomorrow because I get new evidence almost every day.
So...... Here we go.
I think my history teacher is The Doctor.
A 900 year old (approximately) Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, although the planet was lost in the Time War.
I have good reason. Ask my friends. I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!! (**Hint hint: if you ask my friends, they will tell you I AM crazy**)
At first (like, the first day of school), I just thought that because he looked like him. He looks very 11th Doctor; hair, eyes, ears, face shape, height. The only thing different is his nose, which is very 10th Doctor.
But then I started making connections.
He is my history teacher. The Doctor is a time traveler.
He is the best history teacher I've ever had.
Everything- everything- he owns is TARDIS blue, water bottle, lunch box, rain jacket, folders, mousepad.
He comes to school and then puts his tie on, suggesting that he was previously wearing a bowtie. Because bowties are cool.
PAUSE: I just filled a two liter Sprite bottle with water because I was too lazy to find a clean cup. Buckle in guys, this is gonna be intense.
PLAY
He acts like the Doctor; the way he talks and walks and uses hand gestures.
He SOUNDS like the Doctor. I looked up Matt Smith's (the British actor who plays the 11th Doctor) American accent, and I screamed -then peed- because it was his exact voice. And then of course the next day I asked him to do a British accent (he quoted The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams- BEST EVER) and it was an exact match.
He always assigns projects and has them due on the 11th of the month.
He assigned us a book called "The Killer Angels". It has no actual connection to The Weeping Angels from Doctor Who that are Killer (the book is about the Battle of Gettysburg), but it's the association that counts.
The best part is, I can't even remember the long lists of stuff I was going to write.
This leads me to believe that he is here tracking down The Silence.
I also think my Spanish teacher is one of the original companions, my science teacher is a Slitheen, my math teacher is a Sontaran, and I keep seeing Captain Jack Harkness downtown near what I believe to be a Torchwood Hub in America.
I may or may not need a psychiatrist. But at least Brittany from mybestfriendsarefreaks.tumblr.com can vouch for me about Captain Jack and Phlobes from thegirlwiththebigblueblog.blogspot.com can tell you about Mr. Doctor Teacher. After all, he's what that blog is about........
Don't even get me started about my Eleven conspiracy. (Actually, do. That'll make an interesting post...)
But yeah.
I'm gonna go write a poem about River Song now.
So...... Here we go.
I think my history teacher is The Doctor.
A 900 year old (approximately) Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, although the planet was lost in the Time War.
I have good reason. Ask my friends. I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!! (**Hint hint: if you ask my friends, they will tell you I AM crazy**)
At first (like, the first day of school), I just thought that because he looked like him. He looks very 11th Doctor; hair, eyes, ears, face shape, height. The only thing different is his nose, which is very 10th Doctor.
But then I started making connections.
He is my history teacher. The Doctor is a time traveler.
He is the best history teacher I've ever had.
Everything- everything- he owns is TARDIS blue, water bottle, lunch box, rain jacket, folders, mousepad.
He comes to school and then puts his tie on, suggesting that he was previously wearing a bowtie. Because bowties are cool.
PAUSE: I just filled a two liter Sprite bottle with water because I was too lazy to find a clean cup. Buckle in guys, this is gonna be intense.
PLAY
He acts like the Doctor; the way he talks and walks and uses hand gestures.
He SOUNDS like the Doctor. I looked up Matt Smith's (the British actor who plays the 11th Doctor) American accent, and I screamed -then peed- because it was his exact voice. And then of course the next day I asked him to do a British accent (he quoted The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams- BEST EVER) and it was an exact match.
He always assigns projects and has them due on the 11th of the month.
He assigned us a book called "The Killer Angels". It has no actual connection to The Weeping Angels from Doctor Who that are Killer (the book is about the Battle of Gettysburg), but it's the association that counts.
The best part is, I can't even remember the long lists of stuff I was going to write.
This leads me to believe that he is here tracking down The Silence.
I also think my Spanish teacher is one of the original companions, my science teacher is a Slitheen, my math teacher is a Sontaran, and I keep seeing Captain Jack Harkness downtown near what I believe to be a Torchwood Hub in America.
I may or may not need a psychiatrist. But at least Brittany from mybestfriendsarefreaks.tumblr.com can vouch for me about Captain Jack and Phlobes from thegirlwiththebigblueblog.blogspot.com can tell you about Mr. Doctor Teacher. After all, he's what that blog is about........
Don't even get me started about my Eleven conspiracy. (Actually, do. That'll make an interesting post...)
But yeah.
I'm gonna go write a poem about River Song now.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
With a Purpose
So you know that schedule thing that I set up reminders for on my phone? My phone isn't here anymore......
Lemme esplain.
I had break this week. So did one of my best friends (not derp). She's not really the derp dur hurr kinda girl, so I'll use Amy as her code name. Amy came with me on Friday. To a big wooden playground. It was because of my siblings, but regardless. It looked kinda like Hogwarts. So naturally, I had to pick up a twig and wield it as my wand: Pear, unicorn horn core, 14 3/4 inches, surprisingly swishy (from Pottermore XD). We were running around, crawling through the Chamber of Secrets (various tunnels made for 5-12 year olds and not for people like me.... my butt got stuck.), playing Don't Touch the Ground and pretending that the broken climbing web was Devil Snare. So we didn't get ANY weird looks there from the mothers there with their children.
Then we went to the beach. It wasn't particularly warm, so Amy and I decided to go for a walk on the boardwalk. Suffice it to say we couldn't find the boardwalk. We ending up climbing and leaping about on rocks instead.
You know how in movies the main characters often end up running or doing anything with that sense of urgency? That sense that they have to do something, are accomplishing something? Let's call that doing things with a purpose. We felt like that when we were climbing. We had no explanation of what we were doing for onlookers besides climbing rocks.... with a purpose.
Eventually we wound or way back down to the water, where my siblings/their friends were digging "cozy holes" (no explanation) where the River fed into the ocean. The sand kinda drops off pretty deep there. After much derping on my part, we started digging too. The thing about sand is that it's not very stable, especially when it's a steep slope down about 7 feet to the bottom. In retrospect not a very safe place to bring little children to play, but in reality being safe is ever so dull.
Keep in mind, I never had intentions of getting wet. I was wearing capri jeans and a t-shirt, with my phone in my pocket.
Basically, you step on the sand and it swallows you up to your knee where you then slip into the water. I was holding onto the higher, rocky sand when I slid. Well, to be more specific it was my right leg. The side that my phone was in. We had already splashed eachother quite a bit, so I didn't really feel the temperature of the water. What I did feel was my leg floating up, which was quite pleasant. The current was nice and slow, nothing dangerous. My pants were completely damp at that point and covered with sand, so I went completely into the water up to my elbows to rinse off. When I got out and had to hike my pants back up to the appropriate place on my hips, I remembered my phone was in my pocket. So I put it with my shoes and towel, thinking it'd be fine. I've dropped it in the toilet about 3 times already, so I know to take out the battery and let it dry for a couple hours and then it works fine.
Apparently saltwater is different. My dad blasted it with compressed air from his computer technician stuff, and it's been sitting in a bowl of rice for the past 10 hours. **Sigh...** I don't think it's gonna come back and I don't get another upgrade for awhile......
UPDATE- 4/24/12: We found my mother's previous phone in a drawer, and it works pretty well. Takes amahzing pictures! So now I am the proud owner of a pre-owned silver Alias!
Lemme esplain.
I had break this week. So did one of my best friends (not derp). She's not really the derp dur hurr kinda girl, so I'll use Amy as her code name. Amy came with me on Friday. To a big wooden playground. It was because of my siblings, but regardless. It looked kinda like Hogwarts. So naturally, I had to pick up a twig and wield it as my wand: Pear, unicorn horn core, 14 3/4 inches, surprisingly swishy (from Pottermore XD). We were running around, crawling through the Chamber of Secrets (various tunnels made for 5-12 year olds and not for people like me.... my butt got stuck.), playing Don't Touch the Ground and pretending that the broken climbing web was Devil Snare. So we didn't get ANY weird looks there from the mothers there with their children.
Then we went to the beach. It wasn't particularly warm, so Amy and I decided to go for a walk on the boardwalk. Suffice it to say we couldn't find the boardwalk. We ending up climbing and leaping about on rocks instead.
You know how in movies the main characters often end up running or doing anything with that sense of urgency? That sense that they have to do something, are accomplishing something? Let's call that doing things with a purpose. We felt like that when we were climbing. We had no explanation of what we were doing for onlookers besides climbing rocks.... with a purpose.
Eventually we wound or way back down to the water, where my siblings/their friends were digging "cozy holes" (no explanation) where the River fed into the ocean. The sand kinda drops off pretty deep there. After much derping on my part, we started digging too. The thing about sand is that it's not very stable, especially when it's a steep slope down about 7 feet to the bottom. In retrospect not a very safe place to bring little children to play, but in reality being safe is ever so dull.
Keep in mind, I never had intentions of getting wet. I was wearing capri jeans and a t-shirt, with my phone in my pocket.
Basically, you step on the sand and it swallows you up to your knee where you then slip into the water. I was holding onto the higher, rocky sand when I slid. Well, to be more specific it was my right leg. The side that my phone was in. We had already splashed eachother quite a bit, so I didn't really feel the temperature of the water. What I did feel was my leg floating up, which was quite pleasant. The current was nice and slow, nothing dangerous. My pants were completely damp at that point and covered with sand, so I went completely into the water up to my elbows to rinse off. When I got out and had to hike my pants back up to the appropriate place on my hips, I remembered my phone was in my pocket. So I put it with my shoes and towel, thinking it'd be fine. I've dropped it in the toilet about 3 times already, so I know to take out the battery and let it dry for a couple hours and then it works fine.
Apparently saltwater is different. My dad blasted it with compressed air from his computer technician stuff, and it's been sitting in a bowl of rice for the past 10 hours. **Sigh...** I don't think it's gonna come back and I don't get another upgrade for awhile......
UPDATE- 4/24/12: We found my mother's previous phone in a drawer, and it works pretty well. Takes amahzing pictures! So now I am the proud owner of a pre-owned silver Alias!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Houston, We Have Kazoos
Derp and I are in a dance company together. She is one of the dance captains, I am an honorary one because I always help out with that stuff. We celebrate birthdays each month, and this time it was derp's turn. We had gathered enough money and were off to the Target Dollar Stop. We put together good birthday baskets, and I forced derp to put down the extra cotton candy.
When we got in the checkout line, we found derp's mother. We call her Mama C (C=first initial of last name.).
SIDE STORY TO EXPLAIN FOLLOWING EVENTS
Derp and I are derps. We aren't ashamed to say that we love a kids show, The Doodlebops.
Here's a reference pic, so you can fully grasp our level of maturity....
So that is what we spend our time watching.
When they do the Doodlebop pledge, they use kazoos. In fact, all the most hardcore Doodlebop dvd box sets come with special gold kazoos.
Bonus: We have Doodlebop telepathy. We sense when the other is thinking. Even from across distances.
BACK TO THE MAIN STORY
Mama C had found us a 4 pack of kazoos. On the long car ride home, we would usually be screaming and laughing and trolololing.
WE WENT 7 MINUTES STRAIGHT, NO TALKING. JUST KAZOOS.
WHEN WE GOT IN THE HOUSE, WE PLAYED RANDOM SONGS OFF THE TOP OF OUR HEADS.
For 15 MINUTES. It only stopped when derp sat on her armoir and knocked over a glass of water....
It's only 10:30 pm, EST. We don't even go into full on spazz mode until, say, 12:45 am.....
This could be bad.
When we got in the checkout line, we found derp's mother. We call her Mama C (C=first initial of last name.).
SIDE STORY TO EXPLAIN FOLLOWING EVENTS
Derp and I are derps. We aren't ashamed to say that we love a kids show, The Doodlebops.
Here's a reference pic, so you can fully grasp our level of maturity....
When they do the Doodlebop pledge, they use kazoos. In fact, all the most hardcore Doodlebop dvd box sets come with special gold kazoos.
Bonus: We have Doodlebop telepathy. We sense when the other is thinking. Even from across distances.
BACK TO THE MAIN STORY
Mama C had found us a 4 pack of kazoos. On the long car ride home, we would usually be screaming and laughing and trolololing.
WE WENT 7 MINUTES STRAIGHT, NO TALKING. JUST KAZOOS.
WHEN WE GOT IN THE HOUSE, WE PLAYED RANDOM SONGS OFF THE TOP OF OUR HEADS.
For 15 MINUTES. It only stopped when derp sat on her armoir and knocked over a glass of water....
It's only 10:30 pm, EST. We don't even go into full on spazz mode until, say, 12:45 am.....
This could be bad.
It Has Begun
So I promised I would post again. And now I am.
I am at one of my best derp's house, and we have oven pizza a Diet Coke. We are ever so mature, so the drooling and gas and laughing has started. It probably won't subside until about.... noon, tomorrow?
Here's a lil' ditty to keep you entertained.
I am at one of my best derp's house, and we have oven pizza a Diet Coke. We are ever so mature, so the drooling and gas and laughing has started. It probably won't subside until about.... noon, tomorrow?
Here's a lil' ditty to keep you entertained.
We Might Get Molested...
You know that "other derp" I mentioned in the previous post? Like two minutes ago? I'm still posting later, but this popped into my head. So.
She is the reason we are so getting raped one day.
Here's what she came up with:
We like to go downtown, outside our public library. Sit on some rocks that face a busy main road.
And get the attention of complete strangers in their cars by waving and making weird faces. Sometimes they wave back. A lot of cute guys honk.
But the ones with rapist beards just stare at us as they slowly drive by...
Once, a really creepy man pulled over and starting walking towards us. We ran and he followed.
So we ran into the library to wait it out.
Guess where he went?
We ended up hiding in the bathroom of a public library for an hour, eating our Subway sammiches on the floor in the handicap stall. When I went to check and he was still there, she took out her phone and went on youtube.
We almost got kicked out of the public library for squatting in the bathroom, eating, and making excessive noise laughing at cat videos.
She is the reason we are so getting raped one day.
Here's what she came up with:
We like to go downtown, outside our public library. Sit on some rocks that face a busy main road.
And get the attention of complete strangers in their cars by waving and making weird faces. Sometimes they wave back. A lot of cute guys honk.
But the ones with rapist beards just stare at us as they slowly drive by...
Once, a really creepy man pulled over and starting walking towards us. We ran and he followed.
So we ran into the library to wait it out.
Guess where he went?
We ended up hiding in the bathroom of a public library for an hour, eating our Subway sammiches on the floor in the handicap stall. When I went to check and he was still there, she took out her phone and went on youtube.
We almost got kicked out of the public library for squatting in the bathroom, eating, and making excessive noise laughing at cat videos.
A Schedule? What is this?!?!
Soooo...... this is my.... third????...... post this week after a long time with nothing. A bit like having diarrhea. I can't even believe I just spelled that right on the first try.
AND SO..... I figured out how to work my phone correctly after having it for roughly....... 7 or 8 months. And I figured out how to put in recurring calendar events.
SO GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS?
I will try to post regularly!
Every Friday, between 5:45 PM and 7:30 PM EST.
If I'm at a friend's house or anywhere else away from home, I will most likely still have a way to post.
But if I'm somewhere without a computer, then :c because I don't have a smartphone so no post.
But all of my friends have either a smartphone or an iphone or an itouch or a laptop or a Kindle Fire so everything should be Oll Korrect (That's where the abbreviation O.K. came from!)!
Just because I'm posting now doesn't mean I won't post later, I still am.
I don't know what it'll be about, but I'll be with a fellow derp who always has an abundant supply of Coke (the soda, get your mind out of the gutter!) so....... it should be interesting.
AND SO..... I figured out how to work my phone correctly after having it for roughly....... 7 or 8 months. And I figured out how to put in recurring calendar events.
SO GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS?
I will try to post regularly!
Every Friday, between 5:45 PM and 7:30 PM EST.
If I'm at a friend's house or anywhere else away from home, I will most likely still have a way to post.
But if I'm somewhere without a computer, then :c because I don't have a smartphone so no post.
But all of my friends have either a smartphone or an iphone or an itouch or a laptop or a Kindle Fire so everything should be Oll Korrect (That's where the abbreviation O.K. came from!)!
Just because I'm posting now doesn't mean I won't post later, I still am.
I don't know what it'll be about, but I'll be with a fellow derp who always has an abundant supply of Coke (the soda, get your mind out of the gutter!) so....... it should be interesting.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
New Background and Color Scheme
So I felt like jelly beans would be more appropriate for this blog.
Because the name is sophisticated, but in a totally ridiculous way that probably is only funny to me.
So there are two directions I could go in: Fun like candy or smarticle like books and wine glasses.
Either way, the other design with the notebook paper was hurting my eyes.
Which one do you like better?
Because the name is sophisticated, but in a totally ridiculous way that probably is only funny to me.
So there are two directions I could go in: Fun like candy or smarticle like books and wine glasses.
Either way, the other design with the notebook paper was hurting my eyes.
Which one do you like better?
Foods I Might Shank You For
So I haven't posted in a while... Mostly what I've been doing is schoolwork, dance, baby sitting, sitting on my friends, biting them, and trolling around elsewhere on the internet. I am also Catholic. So I celebrate Easter, and I ate a lot of candy.
So I've been doing nothing important and I gained about two pounds in like the past month...
These are the foods I was eating.
WARNING: If I post about 10 million lists in the next week, do not be alarmed. I get Spring break and I don't have anything better to do. Because I have three friends... Yeah. But I feel like you already knew that because blogs are what trolls like me have....
NUMERO UNO:
Cookies.
Chocolate chip. Sugar. Peanut Butter. Oatmeal Raisin.
I will, in fact, use physical violence to obtain these sweet sweet little things.
Basically... STEP AWAY FROM THE COOKIES B*TCH.
Oh, and a warning to all you sneaky turds who think it's a good idea to not label cookies: IF IT IS A FREAKING OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIE, WRITE THAT ON THE PLATE/TRAY/PACKAGE.
I have no problem with oat/rai cookies. I love them. But if they are sitting there innocently on the table and I expect gooey chocolate chips, THAT IS NO GOOD.
NUMBER TWO:
Spray cheese.
I don't care if I'm lactose intolerant and get violently ill when I finish an entire can.
Unicorns poop glitter and rainbows, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that this is Chuck Norris's feces, condensed into a can and made ready for me to spray onto my bacon.
Nuff' said.
NUMERO TRES:
Bacon.
Quoting Matthew Inman of the hysterical site The Oatmeal, bacon is better than love. "True love happens once in a lifetime, bacon can happen 7 times a day if you want it to. Bacon you can keep in the fridge, true love you cannot. Bacon will always be there for you."
NUMBER FOUR:
Pudding.
This might also be made of Chuck Norris's keester cakes.
So I've been doing nothing important and I gained about two pounds in like the past month...
These are the foods I was eating.
WARNING: If I post about 10 million lists in the next week, do not be alarmed. I get Spring break and I don't have anything better to do. Because I have three friends... Yeah. But I feel like you already knew that because blogs are what trolls like me have....
NUMERO UNO:
Cookies.
Chocolate chip. Sugar. Peanut Butter. Oatmeal Raisin.
I will, in fact, use physical violence to obtain these sweet sweet little things.
Basically... STEP AWAY FROM THE COOKIES B*TCH.
Oh, and a warning to all you sneaky turds who think it's a good idea to not label cookies: IF IT IS A FREAKING OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIE, WRITE THAT ON THE PLATE/TRAY/PACKAGE.
I have no problem with oat/rai cookies. I love them. But if they are sitting there innocently on the table and I expect gooey chocolate chips, THAT IS NO GOOD.
NUMBER TWO:
Spray cheese.
I don't care if I'm lactose intolerant and get violently ill when I finish an entire can.
Unicorns poop glitter and rainbows, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that this is Chuck Norris's feces, condensed into a can and made ready for me to spray onto my bacon.
Nuff' said.
NUMERO TRES:
Bacon.
Quoting Matthew Inman of the hysterical site The Oatmeal, bacon is better than love. "True love happens once in a lifetime, bacon can happen 7 times a day if you want it to. Bacon you can keep in the fridge, true love you cannot. Bacon will always be there for you."
NUMBER FOUR:
Pudding.
This might also be made of Chuck Norris's keester cakes.
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